Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Funny the way it is...

This year started off with a bang, didn't it? Devastating floods, tragic shootings, snow storms. One catastrophe after another. I was reading about the floods in Brisbane, Australia and the article told the story of a 13yr old boy named Jordan who told rescuers to save his little brother first--and as a result, Jordan died. How exceptionally brave and selfless. I sat there crying as I read it and I'm crying now as I write this. I have already admitted freely that I cry a lot--especially over anything involving children. And there have been plenty of reasons to shed tears over the past 12 days alone. I am blessed to have not yet lost a brother or sister or parent. I can't even imagine how awful that must be. One reader commented on the article, saying, "2011 is going to be a bad year. That 2012 prediction may be right!"

Well, for one thing, I don't believe 2012 will be the year of the apocalypse. National Geographic on End-of-the-World. I really don't think anyone can predict when the world will end and besides, getting all in a tizzy over an event no one can do anything about isn't worth it. There are more immediate concerns--extreme poverty, warfare and disease in third world nations, the unfortunate plight of the mentally ill in GA, bailouts of entire countries in Europe. As for 2011 being a bad year...It depends. It depends on quite a few factors. For those struggling to survive after the earthquakes in Indonesia or caught in the midst of the never ending violent tension between Israel and Palestine, or dying of cholera in Haiti, it may be a bad year. For those who have lost loved ones in snow storms, and car crashes, and floods, it may be a bad year. But then, I have a friend who is planning a wedding and a move to Hawaii. It seems so strange to me, how one persons life can take a turn for the better while another life plummets downhill.When I was in Nassau on a missions trip, we walked past tiny, lopsided shacks with children wandering about barefoot and in rags on the ground strewn with broken glass. Just across the bridge loomed paradise, the grand resort Atlantis. It was unbelievable.

I'm reminded of a song by Dave Matthews, "Funny the Way It Is." Aside from being pretty great musically, the lyrics echo my own thoughts on the irony in living. My family has had a large serving of hard times over the years and on more than one occasion I've shouted "Enough already!" I told one of my co-workers that I realize that God has a plan and there are lessons to be learned in difficult situations, etc, but I really wish He would cut me some slack. She laughed with some surprise, probably hoping the lightning that was bound to strike me wouldn't bounce off and hit her too (okay, maybe that last part is an exaggeration). I know I'm not alone in wondering when, and if, things will get better. I was out Christmas shopping with my big brother and we were talking about our respective plans for the future. Soon, I'll be finished with nursing school and he's considering different job opportunities and as we're both young it seems like the sky's the limit. But we also both know all too well that plans don't always work out the way one hopes. He said, "Sometimes I think 'Wow, someday soon, I'll actually have a car that runs, and money saved up, and a job I love and life will be great!' But then I think 'What if nothing changes...I can picture myself, having to drive my wife to work an hour in the opposite direction because we only have one car that sort of works, and then that one breaks down and we have barely enough money to get by as it is....' I just wonder, will it always be like this?" I had to laugh because I feel the exact same way, hopeful, and at the same time a little panicked at the prospect of lifelong ickiness. And if that's how I feel, how must those living in misery in the Congo feel?

I read somewhere recently--I honestly can't remember where--that although those of us in the West pity the people in say, Afghanistan, they don't pity themselves. Life is what it is and they get by the best they can. Now, I cannot presume to speak for those people because I have never been in their shoes, but I can see how that might be true in a sense. Self-pity has no place when basic survival is at stake. And humans do survive. It's quite miraculous. Even when the world is falling apart, people still wake-up, find food, fall in love, have children. Think of the atomic bomb and it's after-effects on Hiroshima. And yet Hiroshima is a beautiful, thriving city today. Think of the Holocaust and the deplorable concentration camps. And yet there were many who did not succumb to the madness. I was in college when Hurricane Katrina hit and I went to Gautier, Miss. with a group to help out any way we could. One day, we were picking up the pieces of a family's life in a lot across the street from where their house used to stand. The elderly woman and her invalid husband were currently residing in a ramshackle building near their old house. I felt a bit guilty, gathering up socks, and trophies, and photographs, like I was invading their privacy. The woman said she would make us some banana pudding as a thank you gift. "No don't!" I thought, "You have nothing!" She made it and delivered it to the church where we were staying. All that was left of another house we went to was the foundation and the wooden frame. The owner worked tirelessly to repair it and we built scaffolding and hammered and nailed along with him. The question on everyone's mind was "why bother rebuilding when it would probably be easier to find a different home?" I guess he knew what we were thinking because one afternoon he said, "People wonder why I don't just leave. But my wife and I have lived here for 30 years. My children grew up here. This house has been torn apart before, more than once, and I rebuilt it then and I can rebuild it now."

Yes, I do wonder if things will get better. And perhaps, it's the "if" that's the key. You see, "if" implies a chance. The idea that maybe not, but then again maybe. It's the unknown that gives me hope. Not to say that I don't anticipate running to God in tears as the year progresses. I'm that chronic over-analyzer who gets depressed and overwhelmed by all of the problems in the world. And I'm tempted to sit in a corner rocking back and forth with my head between my knees. The point is, although I cannot fix everything, I can do something. I can sit and listen, I can make someone laugh, I can kiss my little brothers and sisters goodnight, I can sing the songs that are in my heart. I can show compassion, I can encourage, I can love. I can meet people where they are and do my best to address their medical needs. I am definitely no Pollyanna and as much as I dislike sounding like a "little Susy cream cheese" I would like to make life better for whomever I can. Hopefully this year will hold many adventures and wonderful surprises. Just because something begins badly, doesn't mean it won't end well. Will 2011 be a bad year? For me? Well, I'm still living it. Ask me when it's over.

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