Id-i-o-syn-cra-sy, noun, : a peculiarity of constitution or temperament; an individualizing characteristic or quality). The truth is, sometimes I am. Embarrassed, I mean. Someone was riding in my car with me and the radio was playing the last station I left it tuned to. It's a station that plays random old songs, and obscure songs, and some mainstream stuff mixed in with some not quite mainstream (which somehow makes it way cooler). After a few moments, the rider asked me "Is this the kind of music you listen to?" The tone wasn't rude, but slightly incredulous. And immediately I was embarrassed and tried to brush it off with "What is this station? I'm not even sure what I left it on. I mean, sometimes I listen to this stuff because, you know the other stations all play the same thing..." I wish I was one of those people who manage to always seem unfazed, but alas, my emotions are forever on display.
One of my friends described my expressions as "so cliche'". At first I wasn't sure whether or not I should take offense to that. Who wants to be cliche'? What he meant was, my facial expressions and even the way I move, are practically textbook examples of what emotions should look like. For example, startle me and I'll jump, and gasp, and clutch at my heart, and give you the classic look of wide-eyed, open-mouthed, surprise. People, particularly children and guys, figure that out quickly and think it's hilarious and are constantly sneaking up behind me. After nearly giving me a heart attack, a friend of mine in college said he would relish my reaction for the rest of his life. Great. And it's the same for anger, sadness, happiness, confusion, disappointment....Not that I know what I look like. I usually don't even realize I'm making a face until someone mentions it. "Omigosh, look at your face! It's sooo extreme!" The truth is, my emotions are pretty extreme. When I'm happy, I'm not just happy I'm OVERJOYED. When I'm sad I'm not just sad, I'm absolutely devastated. When I'm embarrassed, of course I'm utterly mortified. And it all shows up on my face. I have a book all about the human face [The Face: A Natural History by Daniel McNeill]. Well, it's really about more than just the face. The author goes into detail about why we look the way we look, act the way we act, say the things we say. I don't agree with everything in the book, but I do agree with most of the information. According to the author, most researchers agree on five or so basic expressions; anger, surprise, fear, happiness, and sadness. These are recognizable around the world. In fact, babies born deaf and blind have the same facial expressions as anyone else. (Side note: Helen Keller is of course the most well-known deafblind person, but she is certainly not the only one. Check out this website, created by a deafblind man in the UK A-Z to Deafblindness).
Picking up on my obvious embarrassment, my passenger quickly reassured me that it was okay. Then I felt embarrassed for being embarrassed. It's a vicious cycle. The worst is when I can feel myself blushing. Yes, yes, dark-skinned people can blush. If I was a shade or two darker no one would ever notice...How I envy my chocolate brown friends. I'm not at all pale, but when I blush it's obvious. There's no mistaking that tingling, uncomfortable heat spreading across my face and I find myself praying that no one points it out. When someone does, I just want to run and hide under a table. Actually, I should be putting my red cheeks on display. Blushing has a purpose. When you make a mistake or do something humiliating, that awkward flush literally softens people's feelings toward you. Because blushing is completely involuntary it shows the poor blusher to be sincerely embarrassed. Someone who says something dumb and then blushes is more likely to be forgiven than someone who says the same thing blush-less. This article on why we blush is a good one. My search on the web also led me to a poem by John Keats, Sharing the Apple, better known as "O Blush Not So!" Perfect, don't you think? Ok, so the poem is also a little risque'.
Anyway, to summarize: Idiosyncrasy is a cool word, I'm embarrassed about being embarrassed, blushing is actually socially beneficial, and John Keats was a poet. The end.
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